On a server far, far away.......I did the post-race interview for a race of level 1 toons from Stormwind to Booty Bay. The guild was Titans of Glory (ToG).
When written, I only had their forum as a posting spot. I thought I would revive it for a flashback blog post here.
I had written the questions in a way to let the contestants RP their answers.
OK...here goes.
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Pk inyf onnty 10, yunii ghe .........
Wait, sorry. Those guys were Alliance. Let me restart that using the universal translator.
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On Feb 1st, at 10pm, eleven level 1 contestants took their marks at the entrance of Stormwind, to the bemusement of many passing adventurers, all in an effort to win a foot race from there to BootyBay.
Rules were as follows:
#1 No use of consumables/buffs of any kind
#2 No use of the Spirit Healer at Any Graveyard
#3 High level friends may not help you along the way
#4 No Swimming! Although you MAY cross a river
#5 No use of flight master
The “Booty” for the top three was as follows:
1st - 100 gold and two 16 slot bags
2nd - 50 gold and two 16 slot bags
3rd - Two 16 slot bags
These were the top three finishers:
1st ~ Chaellys (Gnome/Female)
2nd ~ Bandaloke (Human/Male)
3rd ~ Nypplechops (Draenei/Female)
TOG catches up with the top 3 finishers, in an exclusive post race interview.
1st Place - - Interview with Chaellys - -TOG: Though you appear to be in excellent shape, many fans were concerned about a gnome's small stride and how it would affect their performance. How did you train for the race and was your size an issue?
Chaellys: I have a small stride?! Says who?! Actually, I think my small stature was a great asset. Enemies seemed to overlook me and take out the bigger guys in front!
TOG: There are some fans that may not know this, but your husband ran in the race with you, finishing 2nd. We hear that he had a little too much Dwarven Ale at the post-race party in Iron Forge. Has his drinking been an issue in your marriage?
Chaellys: He does enjoy his Ale! Actually, I probably shouldn't say this, but it was part of my training strategy. Dragging him around in a drunken stupor was great for my legs!
TOG: In a competition like this it can be very cutthroat. Was there a particular strategy that seemed to work for you, aside from using your husband as ..... well .... a human shield?
Chaellys: Well, it wasn't just my husband. I'm not ashamed to admit I was willing to use anyone close by as a shield! With great success, obviously!
TOG: Looking back, is there anything you would have done differently?
Chaellys: Fewer clothes. I definitely think my pants slowed me down. Too much drag!
TOG: We hear you're getting hit with endorsement offers from Tinkertown Hairspray and many other big names….any comments about that?
Chaellys: I've been told the correct response to this type of question is "no comment". But (and you didn't hear this from me), don't be surprised to find my picture soon in magazines like "The Healthy Gnome" and "Small and Sassy"!
TOG: We want to thank you for spending time with us. We know your new fame within Runetotem is taking up much of your time. In closing, how do you as a young gnome handle this kind of star dome, and what advice would you give to youngsters who have their eye set on entering future races?
Chaellys: Well of course you let it go straight to your head! I ran out and spent my winnings on all the latest fashions! And of course I just had to have that spa treatment. I was SUCH a mess after the race. And I definitely needed a new knife! But seriously kids, I'm no different than any of you! But for those hoping to follow in my footsteps, I say dream big! You can do anything with a human shield in front of you!
2nd Place - - Interview with Bandaloke - -
TOG: Thanks for speaking with us. You look surprisingly well after being carried to the tram last night. Is it true that you use Dwarven Ale Chaser to keep the hangover away, and that you have now picked up sponsorship from that company?
Bandaloke: Actually, I found some Gnomish Jet Fuel *blush*, which had a similar effect. Don't tell my sponsor.
TOG: Getting back to the race...the photo finish of you and Nypplechops made for a spectacular ending. As we watch this footage (switch to side GameCam replay) one angle appears to show the draenei horn of Nypplechops crossing the finish line slightly ahead of you. But it was the overhead view (switching to overhead GameCam replay), showing your wavy long hair crossing first, that officials used to finally make the call. What did you think of this ruling?.... and this from fan e-mail, what are your hair grooming secrets?
Bandaloke: I shouldn't keep this a secret, I can't even believe it would be a secret: Anyone that has been webbed by a spider knows exactly how to keep their hair in the, well, front of the race.
TOG: After the final ruling, angry fans watching the race on the Zul'Farrak jumbotron began rioting (switch to video of angry trolls rioting on temple steps). What do you say about these enthusiastic fans?
Bandaloke: Go trolls! Blue rules!
TOG: There was some other controversy during the race when a local beggar named Bluehunter shadowed the field continually asking for gold (switch to GameCam audio - Bluehunter: "...can I have 40 gold ... can I have 40 gold ... can I have 40 gold"). How much of a distraction was this and did it affect your concentration during the race?
Bandaloke: It provided mild entertainment at the beginning and the end. Now, I just hope that toon gets run over by the Deeprun Tram. Accidentally, of course.
TOG: One topic of conversation after the race was your sacrificial deaths (switch to GameCam - shows two STV gorillas ganking Bandaloke, with Chaellys following by two steps), as you cleared the way for you wife. Adoring women everywhere have been gushing over these selfless acts (switch to video of Horde fan in Undercity - Undead/Female: "golly, I could just eat him up"). You must really love Chaellys. Can you talk about your marriage with her?
Bandaloke: Who wouldn't die for their wife? I might have thought twice had I known it would include that much dying, but dying is a learning experience, and shouldn't get in the way of wishful thinking.
TOG: Wrapping up.... here is another fan question: could you please share one thing about yourself that fans might be surprised to learn?
Bandaloke: I like picking flowers.
3rd Place - - Interview with Nypplechops - -
TOG: We are with the third place finisher, Nypplechops. Your name has raised a few eyebrows. What can you tell us about the origin of it?
Nypplechops: Well, right up to my birth my parents could not agree on a name for me. My Mama chose the name right after a hospital accident involving my mama and the cord cutting process. I think you get the picture...(sobbing)…poor Mama. But my friends just call me Nyps.
TOG: There are rumors that you secretly used performance enhancing substances like Strider Dash or Essence of Ungoro to boost your speed. Care to comment?
Nypplechops: I saw my trainer putting some clear substance in my spring water, but I have no knowledge of what it was. (shifting eyes) That's all I have to say about that.
TOG: Like the other top finishers, we hear you're being offered specific endorsements from local companies like Big Booty Bay Leggings, Netherweave MaxiPads; even a foreign company, D&D Sport Bras. But even with these new contracts, we hear that you used to have a steady job as a youth that prepared you for days like this. Can you tell us about that part of your life?
Nypplechops: I used to pet-sit for a whole network of Hunters. I really enjoyed that for a time, but (shifting uncomfortably) a bad experience with one household finally made me decide to move on to other endeavors.
TOG: That sounds serious. Can you elaborate?
Nypplechops: If you must know, it all happened in the home of Featherdustr and Shallesh. That ghost wolf of his was very hard for me to take care of. It was so tough to find that rascal in the house sometimes.... being kinda of invisible and all. I would finally find him when I could feel some invisible creature sniffing my crotch. Creepy! Then there was the invisible leg humping thing. I finally got fed up with it all.
TOG: You have gotten some attention about the unorthodox path you chose, deciding not to run with the pack and blazing your own trail through the mountainous parts of Westfall and Duskwood. How did this help you and what other ways did you prepare?
Nypplechops: My support team - thanks team TomTom - scouted the hills for a few days and mapped a route for me that had little or no danger. Additionally, I trained hard in my first aid skill, packed extra armor, and even worked up my defense skills by letting the bandits around Goldshire beat the crap out of me. Even though I was a good distance ahead by the 1/2 way mark, STV was the great equalizer and soon 4-5 runners began to catch up to me. After that, timing my rez to let others catch aggro was about the only tactic I had left. In the end, there is still a huge element of luck involved in a race like this. My congratulations goes out to Chaellys for her win.
TOG: And in a big scoop, witnesses have reported seeing you boarding the aircraft of Father (switch to picture TOG founder), at his private airstrip in the mountains over Iron Forge. Is this true?
Nypplechops: Yes it is. But the relationship is purely platonic. I mean, after all, I'm L2 and he's like L??..... that's ancient. Seriously though, the plane trip involved a small shoot in a music video for his new album, Father and the Exodar-Street Band.
TOG:That wraps up the post race interviews.
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